Community Story Project: Discussion and Review Page

Share your stories about the Gothic Sector and your battle reports.
Flyingrhinoman
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Re: Community Story Project

Postby Flyingrhinoman » 04 March 2016, 20:15

thanks for the feed back
For those who challenge the might of the Imperium I laugh at you as you desperately try to damage the armored prow while I watch you scrabble to doge my glorious swarm of torpedoes. Eldar please run away

Candor
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Re: Community Story Project

Postby Candor » 04 March 2016, 22:38

Owl wrote:Good short story Flyingrhinoman. A few grammatical issues, but that will go away with practice. And bringing Ogryns into the picture was a wonderful idea! And I guess the talk about the laser battery means a few of the Firebrands's Macro Cannons are laser based, rather than the traditional slug throwers; thankfully, laser based weapons are far from uncommon :). I can see how that would be useful in protracted engagements where the ship is far from resupply points, as the lasers simply need the odd spare parts and a secure power line to contribute their fire power.

All in all, I cannot wait for the next short story.


Firebrand is a Sword Class? If so, then yes its weaponry would be mostly laser based (if the fluff in the BFG rulebook is still current.) iirc, the Firestorm class is what happens when you rejig the laser cores into one wacking great big laser :P

Also the thing about communications runs reminds me of a little piece of fiction in Warp Rift, where an Ork captain is given "A shoutin box" by a big mek, and has a moment of almost religious revelation at the Orkiness of a device that lets him bellow at his underlings at all hours of the day
"Our country will, I believe, sooner forgive an officer for attacking an enemy than for letting it alone."

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Owl
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Re: Community Story Project

Postby Owl » 05 March 2016, 01:05

Death is different for every species. For the Mon'keigh, death is only a transition from the physical world to the Immaterium; the Tyranid's, for all their endless, soulless numbers, may eventually die, although the result of that is hitherto unknown; the "deathless" Necrons gave up their souls long ago in a short-sighted bargain for immortality, and as such it can be argued that they died long ago, with their corpses marching on in memory of the glories they lost. But we, the Eldar...

"Lautharal? Come back. Lautharal?"

Whhoooooo is this seer, who stands in front of the spirit-stone I call home? Are you lost? Don't you know that it is rude to enter someones house without an invitation?

The frail shape of the Seer, wrapped in the ceremonial clothes of his office, looked like he was about to collapse from despair and exhaustion. But with a calm, confident voice he said, "I'm your brother Lautharal. Do you remember, on the day I was born, when you named me Celynys? You always told me you had never been happier, and that you would never forget the moment for as long as you lived."

Oh. Hmmm. That is right! Look at you, all grown up! Haha, little Celynys has finally become a warlock, just like I said he would. I am so proud of you...

Celynys waited there in the glimmering darkness of the Ghost Ship's wraith core for a few minutes, waiting to see if his brother could muster up the strength for another moment of lucidity. With a weary sigh the spirit-seer, the only "living" crewman on the entire ship, stood up and left through the circular opening of the room, opposite of the shimmering Nexus that his brother's stone was buried in. The portal closed behind him, leaving no suggestion that only moments ago there had been a door there. The Eldar walked through the gracefully arched, pearly corridors of his ship on the way to the bridge, noting with satisfaction the flickers of light that darted to-and-fro as the spirits of those who inhabited the vessel flashed from one vital system to the other; seeing his charges working in harmony filled Celynys with pride. But with every step his mind returned to thoughts on his current situation.

The Hellebore Frigate Phantom Sight was in low orbit of the Maiden world Oman, and Celynys looked down on its radiant blue form as the system's red giant reflected off the sapphire forests that blanketed the world's temperate regions. The colony was new by Eldar standards, having only been founded two centuries ago, but it hosted a large population. Although fourty-four thousand seemed measly in comparison to the teeming hives of the Mon'keigh, it was a vast congregation for the pirate nation known as the Executioners. Made up of Outcasts, each of them had once belonged to a craftworld, but had left to escape the suffocating Path System that dominated Eldar society. Lautharal had never liked the oppresive expectations their society leveled against against him and his family and often discussed leaving with unbridled confidence only a big brother can evoke. Although Celynys had protested the idea at first, the idea of a life without so much restrictions grew less terrifying over time, and one day the band of brothers announced their intention to leave to their family. It went well, all things considered. But things had fallen apart almost as soon as the two had set off.

Now only Celynys was left to protect his brother and the denizens of Oman. Worse still, a Mechanicus Explorator Cruiser, obviously fleeing from a recent confrontation if the battle damage that scarred it hull was any indication. Without any escorts, landing the killing blow would be relatively quick given the torpedoes banks aboard the Phantom Flight; however, it was not yet necessary to perform such a risky action. It was common practice for Eldar colonies and ships to hide behind the cover of their Holofields rather than attack when an Imperial patrol swept through their system, as even the destruction of the intruders would invite investigation. The last thing the Eldar want is to wake the sleeping Giant that is the Imperium of Man. If the wounded ship simply limped out of the system and went on its merry way, the Oman and the people who called her home would be safe.

Just as Celynys was about to withdraw his mind from the sensors of his ship, a faint whisper from the spirit known as Kayas put the seer on edge. Kayas was a veteran of centuries of warfare, and his trained instincts, although dulled by his incorporality, had noticed something lurking in the Void. As Cylynys watched with growing alarm, a battle fleet of ships twisted by the warping nature of the Great Enemy emerged from blood-red tears in reality, no less than a few hundred kilometers from the wounded Cruiser. For what it was worth, the crewmen aboard the Imperial vessel opened fire immediately, their crippled broadsides and sporadic lance shots a testament to the will of the Mon'keigh to face their greatest foe without a shred of hesitation. The Chaos fleet did not even bother firing back.

A Styx carrier broke off from the hundred strong host and closed in. With cruel efficiency the crimson ship's ruby-red lances reached out across the few kilometers that separated the floating cathedrals of disparate gods and destroyed the cruiser's few surviving weapons. Celynys cursed his ships sensors, as he could not squeeze anymore resolution out of them to see what happened more clearly. Although the light that reached him was hours old, it made the Eldar man feel just a bit more secure to see what was happening. He thought he could make out swarms of boarding craft covering the disabled ship like carrion birds, their occupants eager to get at the prey within the adamantium hull. In a few hours, the psychic distress signal from the psykers aboard the Imperial ship suddenly stopped hammering Celyny's mind, and the Chaos war party departed the system. But not after adorning the hull of the wrecked vessel with the mangled remains of what had once been its crew,

The seer wiped off the sweat from his brow, and took his shaking hand off the shuriken pistol at his hip. He had never seen such a large Chaos force in his life, and the scale of it made it clear that something was beginning in his region of space that he did not dare to comprehend.

The Great Enemy has come to our sector. May Isha guard us, for the wrath of the dark gods is surely upon us.
Last edited by Owl on 05 March 2016, 12:51, edited 7 times in total.

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Owl
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Re: Community Story Project

Postby Owl » 05 March 2016, 04:41

Candor wrote:
Owl wrote:Good short story Flyingrhinoman. A few grammatical issues, but that will go away with practice. And bringing Ogryns into the picture was a wonderful idea! And I guess the talk about the laser battery means a few of the Firebrands's Macro Cannons are laser based, rather than the traditional slug throwers; thankfully, laser based weapons are far from uncommon :). I can see how that would be useful in protracted engagements where the ship is far from resupply points, as the lasers simply need the odd spare parts and a secure power line to contribute their fire power.

All in all, I cannot wait for the next short story.


Firebrand is a Sword Class? If so, then yes its weaponry would be mostly laser based (if the fluff in the BFG rulebook is still current.) iirc, the Firestorm class is what happens when you rejig the laser cores into one wacking great big laser :P

Also the thing about communications runs reminds me of a little piece of fiction in Warp Rift, where an Ork captain is given "A shoutin box" by a big mek, and has a moment of almost religious revelation at the Orkiness of a device that lets him bellow at his underlings at all hours of the day


They weren't kidding when they said you learned something new everyday. Thanks for the info Candor.

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Owl
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Re: Community Story Project

Postby Owl » 05 March 2016, 13:05

Well guys, its a new day and time for another story piece.

Like last time, post the number of the option you would like to see me and the other writers write about.

1. We go back to the Firebrand and use her weapons tests to glean some technical information on how her awesome guns work.

2. The Firebrand is ambushed in transit, and we have our first real battle! I am thinking less technical information, and more of an emphasis on the tactics and events that take place on the Firebrand.

3. Whatever you guys would like to see. This option is always going to be here, since you all have some great ideas kicking around.

And please guys, post those reviews :D. They are the life blood that keeps me going!

Loki Von Basilisk
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Re: Community Story Project

Postby Loki Von Basilisk » 05 March 2016, 13:24

chalk me up for 1 and maybe have the next be a direct follow on with maybe an ork rok enguaging suddenly from a near by astroid belt

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Owl
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Re: Community Story Project

Postby Owl » 05 March 2016, 13:32

Loki Von Basilisk wrote:chalk me up for 1 and maybe have the next be a direct follow on with maybe an ork rok enguaging suddenly from a near by astroid belt


I was thinking the same thing!
Last edited by Owl on 05 March 2016, 18:00, edited 1 time in total.

RexMundi
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Re: Community Story Project

Postby RexMundi » 05 March 2016, 15:20

#1

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Owl
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Re: Community Story Project: Discussion Page

Postby Owl » 05 March 2016, 18:08

Still waiting for replies, but I plan on posting today's piece around 6 PM American Central Time.

Ghostrider93
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Re: Community Story Project: Discussion Page

Postby Ghostrider93 » 05 March 2016, 18:42

I go for 1


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