Community Story Project: Discussion and Review Page

Share your stories about the Gothic Sector and your battle reports.
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Owl
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Re: Community Story Project

Postby Owl » 04 March 2016, 13:44

I'm starting a poll for today's story installments. I'll write about the choice that has the most votes, so pick your poison. ;)

1. We jump to the weapon tests, and I'll provide a boat load of technical details on how the weapons involved work.

2. I cut immediately to the Eldar Corsairs, and find out what those poncie space elves are doing.

3. We take a look to see what our villain is up to.

4. You insert whatever you want to see in option four.
Last edited by Owl on 04 March 2016, 14:40, edited 2 times in total.

Candor
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Re: Community Story Project

Postby Candor » 04 March 2016, 14:25

3! :D
"Our country will, I believe, sooner forgive an officer for attacking an enemy than for letting it alone."

AShepard
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Re: Community Story Project

Postby AShepard » 04 March 2016, 14:32

#2 #2 #2 #2

Flyingrhinoman
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Re: Community Story Project

Postby Flyingrhinoman » 04 March 2016, 17:42

I was thinking instead of introducing "the villain" why not introduce a pirate to test how writing the villain is and also gives the opportunity to then test how writing a battle is. Also allows for an engagement to be just the escorts 1v1 as usually this doesn't happen.
Just suggestions however hope it helps.
For those who challenge the might of the Imperium I laugh at you as you desperately try to damage the armored prow while I watch you scrabble to doge my glorious swarm of torpedoes. Eldar please run away

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Owl
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Re: Community Story Project

Postby Owl » 04 March 2016, 18:14

I will try to have the story up by 7PM Central American time. This piece could be very long.

Loki Von Basilisk
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Re: Community Story Project

Postby Loki Von Basilisk » 04 March 2016, 19:13

voting for 1

and just an idea maybe start a new thread for the story itself and keep this one for discussing it/ votes

RexMundi
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Re: Community Story Project

Postby RexMundi » 04 March 2016, 19:49

#2

Flyingrhinoman
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Re: Community Story Project

Postby Flyingrhinoman » 04 March 2016, 19:56

laser battery 4, ship time 6:00.

Gunnery Captain 2nd Class Kor Parzen sighed heavily as he surveyed the massive laser projector that was occupying most of the enormous room in front of him. This particular one was one of 4 main laser batteries that made the ship he served on so ubiquitous in the Gothic sector. Powerful enough to match even an orks blistering amount of fire power, yet quick enough to catch the opportunistic pirate scum that plagued the entire blessed imperium. Also they required only basic engineering skills which meant that adepts rather then tech priests could service them, making the drain on skilled labor much less for the Firebrand then the equivalent armament on a cruiser.

However Kor's problem didn't lie with the lack of tech priests to fix the damn battery, but with the shortage of the one resource that there shouldn't be a shortage of, manpower. Specifically the shortage of penal slaves that rotated the gun and refocused the massive lenses that allowed for accurate targeting. The "incident" as people kept referring to it as had cost battery 4 dearly as the capacitor for the gun had over loaded and quite nearly caused the ship to be lost. On top of that most of penal slaves that are bound to the weapon perished. The "incident" also led to Kor's promotion as his superior was executed for incompetence by commissar Biltmore. The penals are easy enough to replace for the Departmento Munitorum as whole worlds are penal colonies, but some adept had a bright idea and tried to save on fuel costs and now was making Kor's life very difficult.

"STOP.....STOP.....STOPSTOPSTOP" Kor shouted frantically, "When the light turns green it means stop moving." Kor stood talking to the monstrously sized ogryns in front of him. Instead of the 100 slaves he had ask for he was shipped 30 ogryns, which normally any Gunnery Captain would be happy to have, but there was no "bone head" as the orgyn s called them, making Kors life hell. While 1 orgyn can do the labor of about 10 men in terms of strength and the fact that they are 3-4 times the size of man ( For reference they are about the same sizes as space marine centerions) they have one key flaw, a rock is smarter then them. Normally this is solved by having one of the ogryns under-go cybernetic enhancement to bring them to the level of a 5 year old, the adept who assigned them obviously didn't know that they need one to be effective. So Kor was reduced to trying to get the damn orgyns to understand hwo the ship worked with out them understanding most of what he was saying.

Kor sighed again, maybe he should go find one of the Chirosurgeons and a Tech preist to see if he could get them to jury rig a "Bone Head" for him. As he wondered this he started the exercise over again to try and get the ogryns to learn how ever futile it was. As the exercise started again he wondered if they had shipped him orks it might have been more useful.


First attempt Hopefully you like it. While I am not trying to take over the story I am going to try and periodically add background and fluff, eventually I may take over the newspaper

Thanks
For those who challenge the might of the Imperium I laugh at you as you desperately try to damage the armored prow while I watch you scrabble to doge my glorious swarm of torpedoes. Eldar please run away

Sanguinus
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Re: Community Story Project

Postby Sanguinus » 04 March 2016, 19:59

#2

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Owl
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Re: Community Story Project

Postby Owl » 04 March 2016, 20:12

Good short story Flyingrhinoman. A few grammatical issues, but that will go away with practice. And bringing Ogryns into the picture was a wonderful idea! And I guess the talk about the laser battery means a few of the Firebrands's Macro Cannons are laser based, rather than the traditional slug throwers; thankfully, laser based weapons are far from uncommon :). I can see how that would be useful in protracted engagements where the ship is far from resupply points, as the lasers simply need the odd spare parts and a secure power line to contribute their fire power.

All in all, I cannot wait for the next short story.
Last edited by Owl on 04 March 2016, 20:25, edited 1 time in total.


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